November 15 - Autism
The child slips off the banana peel of the whole kitchen which is yellow, and shrieks Holy Terror, which is a hell song speeded up. Penitentiary ascendancies, not her own. She is mouthing their...
View ArticleRe: November 15 - Autism
You've done a great job getting inside the head of an overstimulated child with autism. Very thick, almost out of control description which fits your topic. My favorite spot may be this:The wrods in...
View ArticleRe: November 15 - Autism
This is really strong, really makes the reader feel what it's like to be that child. As always, your word choices are just plain amazing. The whole intro is so immediate and compelling: The child...
View ArticleRe: November 15 - Autism
I am interested in Autism too. You have chosen the right words and held hands with this child whom you are able to describe so well. I will have to print it out for my niece who used to work...
View ArticleRe: November 15 - Autism
Very interesting use of the words for riverlit - extra adjectives slow narrative; kitchen rather than whole kitchen, and ghoulish "aura" of grownups - "sweet doing nothing sweet when she plays dead" -...
View ArticleRe: November 15 - Autism
I was right there the whole time, too. This is a very powerful draft. I like the lines Judy pulled out, and also this: It excites the quarks, a provisional name for sweet doing nothings -sweet, when...
View ArticleRe: November 15 - Autism
This is terrific. Mesmerizing. It really grabs hold of the reader. One of my favorites of yours, ever. The beginning is just stellar. But the poem never lets up, the fever pitch just keeps ratcheting...
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